Kentucky's Saint Firearms Prayer

From the revised prayerbook, New Bethel Church, Louisville:

O Lord, protect my instrument of Thy peace.

where there is hatred, let me sow chaos;

where there is injury, retribution;

where there is fear, machismo;

where there is despair, threats ;

where there is darkness, searchlights;

and where there is sadness, target practice.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to kill as to bluster;

to be misunderstood, as to be clueless;

to be loved, as to be feared;

for it is through the 2nd Amendment that we claim our right to act foolishly,

it is through pardons that we are weakened,

and it is in dying that we are buried with our cold stiff hands wrapped around our spent rifle barrels.

Amen.