Oh, Bobby

No one named Bobby should have as much media abuse heaped on him as has Bobby Jindal, governor of Louisiana, who was given the unenviable and perhaps impossible task of delivering the Republican response to Barack's extraordinary speech last night.

So, on behalf of Bobbys everywhere, I'd like to remind our studio audience that all contestants for the 2012 GOP nomination are allowed one immense on screen dud before the race begins. We encourage them, in fact, to bomb out early in the contest, so they can get it over and done with well before anyone in Iowa or New Hampshire is paying attention. Bobby, please take comfort in the knowledge that, in politics, one has to endure annihilation before transformation, since the media usually giveth after they taketh away.

Bobby, your personal story of an immigrant family making good in the USA is a political godsend. Plus, let's face it-- you have that wonderful name. Who doesn't want a little more Bobby in his or her life??

Alright, so let's deal with that speech. Even Ronald Reagan would have had a hard time making lemonade out of the lemons W left behind in the Oval. I'm not auditioning for speechscribe, but the only message you have left is the one Americans continue to cherish-- the best government is one that governs least. Keep reminding us (as disingenuous as this is) that government got us into this mess, so why is the solution to turn to more government control of our financial destiny?

Put the money in the hands of the people and let them do what they do best. Blah blah blah.

You get the idea, Bobby. Keep at it long enough and the inevitable overreaches of government bureaucrats run amok will play right into your hands.

In the meantime, relax, smile, and be the best Bobby you can be. We're counting on you....