New York on $1,370 A Day

"OK, that's it! I've had it! If these clowns in the White House think I'm gonna hang in here at the Bank of RuPaul for a measly $500 a year, they're nuts ! I work my tuchus to the bone 12 hours a day and 10 on Sunday to keep this joint from nosediving into the deep. And that's the thanks I get? Fuhgeddaboutit!

"Bunny did the math last night and I was appalled. What with tuitions for Chintzy and Muffy and the housekeeper and Sag Harbor and the chopper and the chopped liver, oy! I couldn't even make it on a mil in this town let alone half that.

"If these jokers think I'm gonna live off my investment accounts, let 'em try and cash in $24 options for stock valued at $.59 and see how well they do with that financial plan. At this rate, we'll be dumpster diving by Pesach.

"And, by the way, what's up with the Pres going after poor schmucks like me when his own health secretary nominee gets the booby prize of a $4mm consulting contract as the reward for skipping a few tax payments. And that crazy dame from Minnesota or Missouri or one of those god awful places, the nerve of suggesting that no one should make more than Barack. Pfooey on her. Sure, honey, give me a nice white mansion in the center of town, a 747, two choppers, 14 limos, and all you can eat buffets everywhere ya go and yep, I think I could squeeze by on $400 a year.

"Enough already. I could kvetch until I'm blue in the face. Bunny, call Aeroflot! Time to head to Moscow, where they know the value of a dollar. "