Saturday, February 28, 2009

Equifat...er...fit


Alright alright.  I finally gave in and agreed to a fitness evaluation at my local gym.  First session was Friday and the follow up is tomorrow, and then, soon after....the dreaded report.  We have nothing to fear but fear itself, right?  So why am I so reluctant to see these metrics?  Does it matter my body mass index and waist size and how many pounds I can bench press?  Maybe yes maybe no but does it all have to be on a chart?  

Relax.  They're trying to sell you something.  If you're in awesome shape, that doesn't suit their purpose.  Maybe that's why you got selected for Equifit?   Still too lumpy after all those reps week after week??  Stop thinking!  Answer the questions.....

I'm actually in OK shape, all things considered.  When in NYC, you'll find me at Equinox 3, 4 times a week, and even when traveling I try to maintain some of my workout routines.  The trainer who signed me up for an Equifit session did a huge doubletake when I told him my age (love those moments!!!).

The evaluation started with a brief Q&A about eating habits, health issues, and the big Q: why are you here?  what are your fitness goals?  

Somebody spoke...and I went into a dream...

Skinny little BobbyOnARoll standing on the baseball diamond, couldn't throw well, couldn't catch, couldn't hit, last one picked for the team....boo hoo. 

Teenage Bobby on the basketball court, shoved around by a bunch of sweaty meatheads. Pinned on the wrestling mat in about 30 seconds and couldn't give a damn.   Ditched gym class until the Dean threatened suspension. 

HighSchool Bob, fastest kid in gym class. Outran everyone in a sprint. The track coach loved me.  No, thanks, coach, I think I'd rather be a debate nerd and go to Hebrew school in the late afternoon. (Dumb.)


A: Uh, gee, I guess I'd like to lose 5 pounds, play better tennis, and look good with my shirt off.

OK, Bobby......


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