F.B.H.S.

Spent a few minutes revising my Facebook profile today, pretending to be engaged in 21st century social media.  Put up a new pic, some new personal info, fave quote from Mommie Dearest, etc etc.   Yet, when it came to filling in my education background, I paused at the box where we indicate the high school we attended.  Well...it's FaceBook H.S., of course!!---yep, it's just like being back in h.s. when I participate in this loony site.

Facebook, at its worst, has all the characteristics I hated from my days trapped within the walls of my local public high---the popular kids, or at least the ones who wish to seem popular, showing off and adding 'friends' each and every day.  People writing in each other's yearbooks, which is what FB calls The Wall.  Some of my friends at F.B.H.S.  now have up to 400, 500, and more friends of their own.  Oh my.  Laughable, sort of, in the way I used to make fun of the cheerleaders and the jocks and the social butterflies back in the day and was in turn mocked by them for being a student council pointyheaded actor debate team nerd.  Ahhh...those were the days.  :)

There's F.B.H.S. gossip, rumor, inuendo, put downs, send-ups, you name it.  Our school song:  "It's all about me", an anthem familiar to the adolescent in all of us.  

You can also get yourself 'tagged' in photos with the popular kids, so that even if you're kind of an ugly duckling or not all that popular, you can be prom king or queen for the day if you can get photo tagged alongside one of the boys or girls you most admire. 

Plus, my fave F.B.H.S. category: relationship status.  Fun, fun !  Back in high school, we depended on totems like who wore whose varsity letter sweater, or who was hearing whose ID bracelet, or, omigod!, a class ring exchange!  Facebook makes it all much simpler----ticking a box and letting the world know as you move from being single to in a relationship, open, closed, married, and so forth.  So much more efficient and equally prurient.

So here's the power of Facebook for you---trying to have a bit more fun, I changed my relationship status from single to ''it's complicated" (which, in my case, is a pretty fair statement), but the catch is you have to type the name of the person with whom it IS complicated if you wish to choose this option.  Oops, didn't want to do that, so I just typed in "the Almighty God" and let it fly.  

Unfortunately, F.B.H.S. doesn't recognize The Almighty God as a current member, so my relationship status was listed as 'it's complicated' but with no 'complicatee' to make it interesting.  Ugh.  And then the emails started coming in, within 5 minutes I had half a dozen inquiries and wall postings.  Who is he?  I knew you were dating someone, blah blah blah.  Being 'complicated' has its merits, if attention is what you crave.  And who doesn't?

Decided it was easier to remain single after all, as shameful as that may be for an attractive high schooler like me.  :)  I revised my status.

Well, this is all good fun in the end, and for many for whom FBHS is a defining element of how they socialize and communicate with their friends, more power to them.  Enjoy!

As for me, much like real high school, I look forward to the day when I graduate from F.B.H.S., throw off the cap and gown, exit the building and get on with life in the real world.